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Kirby Phelps (PK)

1,991 Edits since joining this wiki
July 16, 2010
  • I was born on December 5
  • I am Male
(Difference between revisions) | User:Kirby Phelps (PK)
m (Re:_Custom_Signatures: Sorry, for editing your Talk-Page, but i wanted to remove my Mail-Adress, to prevent Spam.)
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Hey, the chapters look pretty good. I'm really sorry I've been unresponive. School has been so busy lately I've not had time for good beta-ing. I've had six tests this week, plus several papers due. I plan on catching up with the fic in about 2 or 3 weeks. If you could just continue being patient, I'd be greatful. Also, there's a cat on my keyboard so excuse that, if you would.
 
Hey, the chapters look pretty good. I'm really sorry I've been unresponive. School has been so busy lately I've not had time for good beta-ing. I've had six tests this week, plus several papers due. I plan on catching up with the fic in about 2 or 3 weeks. If you could just continue being patient, I'd be greatful. Also, there's a cat on my keyboard so excuse that, if you would.
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==hi==
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hi!
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I read your version of twilight!
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it really moved me!
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if u want to write it as a story i made a wiki where u write stories and this is the link:
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http://createastory.wikia.com/wiki/Create_a_story_Wiki
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hope u post it on my wiki!
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remeber your version of twilight is the <u>'''BEST!'''</u>
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BYE
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hello55522 18:11, March 28, 2012 (UTC)

Revision as of 18:11, March 28, 2012

Welcome

Welcome to the Twilight Saga Wiki, and thank you for your edit to the User:Kirby Phelps (PK) page!
There's a lot to do around here, so I hope you'll stay with us and make many more improvements.

Recent changes
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Welcome!

Stubs
These are very short articles that need your help in expanding them. Check them out and see what you can do!

Questions? You can ask at the Help desk or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, or post a message on my talk page!

Need help? The Community Portal has an outline of the site, and pages to help you learn how to edit.

I'm really happy to have you here, and look forward to working with you!

-- Fingernails (Talk) 04:56, July 16, 2010

Hi

Hi wats up?


Hi. Who's this? Kirby Phelps (PK) 05:54, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Friends?

This is TeamEdward97. I was wondering if u wanna be friends? =)


Hmm...I don't know if I should be friends with someone from Team Edward. LOL j/k :P

But sure, I guess. Kirby Phelps (PK) 00:18, August 11, 2010 (UTC)


Kewl but im a little team jacob too but mostly team edward if that helps lol :)


heyy

You don't like Bella & Edward

What I love about the Twilightsaga is the unconditional and irrevocable ♥love♥ between Bella and Edward.


But if you don't like the romantic story of Bella and Edward, what do you like of the saga?
It's like you like Romeo and Juliet and doesn't like Lovestories.
I know there are beautiful parts, which are not about the ♥love♥ between Bella and Edward, but I think they are secondary.
My favorite parts of the books are the romantic quotes of Bella and Edward.


This shouldn't be a critic, I just can't understand what you like about twilight, if you don't like the romantic part.

Bella selfish?

Reasons why Bella is selfless

"She is the most selfless person, I've ever met"
Edward thinking on Bella
  1. Gina Dalfonzo, in an article posted on the National Review website, calls Bella "self-deprecating" ... (Bella#Criticism)
  2. She drove to Forks, that Renée can be happy, also she hates the cold and wet thing (Twilight)

Reasons why Bella is selfish

The only thing, where she is selfish:

  1. Edward
    1. That Edward doesn't get hurt
    2. That she can be with Edward together.

But I think it's not selfish, she is just unconditional and irrevocable ♥love♥, so that every thing else is unimportant.

possible Reasons why we think different

If you really think Bella is selfish,

  1. i misunderstood the book, or
  2. you don't believe in ♥true♥love♥

@User:Kirby_Phelps_(PK):"I've read all four..."

I would write: "I've read the important four..."

I have read those Books of Stephenie Meyer:
Twilight, Midnight Sun, The graphic novel,
New Moon,
Eclipse, The second short life of Bree Tanner,
Breaking Dawn
and the Host

I'm reading:
Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion

At Superfans you can read, who read which book how often.

More Books:
Category:Books

--Jo-Kalliauer [user talk] 17:42, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Why I'm on Team Switzerland

Team Neutral

You are right, that I'm more on Template:User Team Edward than on Template:User Team Jacob, cause I would choose love before friendship.
But I would say that I am on Template:User Team Switzerland, cause

  1. I like Bella more than Edward or Jacob
  2. My most favorite actor is Kristen Stewart (also the actor hasn't got something to do with the story)
  3. I think if you(Bella) are(is) unconditionally and irrevocably in love with someone(Edward) than you need a friend(Jacob), that you don't get "crazy". (As Edward left Bella, Bella had nightmares and she wasn't able to see any sense in her live anymore, and ignored all her friends)

Although I'm still not 100% sure what being on a team means

You are right, being on team doesn't make any sense.
I wrote on my page:

I'm Team Switzerland, cause I think it's not important if you like Edward or Jacob.
What i love about twilight is that Twilight Saga is a so ♥romantic♥ story.

Here is the explantation of the teams: Teams
canged  — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 12:41, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

ask me something?

No I'm not!
but why would it matter you?
I love a ♥girl♥ unconditionally and irrevocably, that's why I love the twilightsaga, because it's not like every lovestory, it is so intense, so unconditional and so irrevocably love like in no other story.

  1. Edward loves Bella more than his own life.
  2. Bella gets totally depressed, without Edward, she already had to go to the psychiatrist.
  3. Bella thinks Edward is to good for her
  4. Edward wants her to be happy
  5. There are soo beautiful quotes like:
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
Edward Cullen to Bella[src]

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 08:39, August 31, 2010 (UTC)

Alternate Ending: If Bella and Jacob kissed in New Moon

I just read it very quickly, so there are maybe parts I didn't noticed.

The main difference is that she decides for Jacob not Edward, but were is the real difference??
Where is the difference if she decide for Jacob or Edward?
The Twilight Saga is about a Girl who loves two men in a different way, and it doesn't really matter if she decides for the shape-shifter or the vampire.
It is a romantic story, so I can't see the big difference.
You just wrote the content, so there no character.

The main difference is that is only a summary, that means

  • no beautiful Quotes
  • no declarations how strong the love is
  • no definitions about the characters


Jacob can't get imprinted on Bella, cause that would have happen when he first saw her.

You should structure it in some paragraphs, and maybe add an introduction, that you know after reading the introduction, if you like to read it or not.

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 10:00, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Twilight Meets Pokemon

I read Twilight Meets Pokemon quickly, but I don't like it very:
  1. I don't like reading English
  2. I'm not a great reader, so I don't like reading at all, except the Twilight Saga.
-->so if you would like some feedback you should ask someone else.
Books I which I voluntary/unsolicitous/ex gratia (I don't know the right word):
  1. Twilight (German)
  2. New Moon(German)
  3. Eclipse(German)
  4. Breaking Dawn(German)
  5. The Host(German)
  6. Midnight Sun(English)
  7. Vampire Diaries (all 6?, German, wouldn't do that again)
  8. Graphic Novel
  9. The second short life of Bree Tanner (German, won't read it again)
  10. Midnight Sun(Audiobook, German)
  11. Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion (reading now (Sep10), German)

Photoshop

I don't have Photoshop, and I'm not very good in creating pics, also your example isn't very difficult, but I never did something like that (creating pics) before, also I would like to learn it (f.e. on Youtube,manuals,...), but I don't have the experience and the time, so I can't help you.
I can't recommend/suggest you someone, cause I don't know anyone, but maybe User:Fingernails can help you, she (I think she is a girl.) made some sign-Pics (I think with Gimp), which were not as difficult as your example.
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 09:12, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Awards

I gave you the awards you requested. With your picture there it kinds of messes it up. I didn't want to mess with it since it's your page, but I'd move it. Congrats by the way. :) LuckyTimothy 21:08, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thank You Kirby Phelps (PK) 05:39, September 5, 2010 (UTC) Ness gif

RE:Holy crap

Hy

How I got so many points:
I added Pics to Galleries,
I improved Pages especially Eclipse-Film-pages,
I had much luck I got 4 Dreamcathers with about 1350 edits, (I try to calculate the likelihood, to get 4 Dreamchaters for 1300 edits
(If you make 325 (=1300/4) edits the change of getting at least one is 27,8%)
I commented blogs,
...

But I think it is more important to improve the pages, than being on top of the Leatherbord, also I took much time to get onto the top.

I'm waiting to get the next in 3days I will get 30days online. 22px-SMirC-smile.svg.png

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 07:17, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Re:Custom Signatures

Examples

Here are some examples of Signs: User:JoKalliauer/Beautiful_Templates#Signatures

Special:Preferences

In the Special:Preferences you can edit your sign ~~~ how you like it.
Tipp: activate "Signature treat as wikitext (without automatic link)", that you don't get a [[ and a ]] to much

Look how User:Fingernails explained it to User:Ashath.

If you want to know more look: Help:Signature

If you need help ask

If you want someone to create a sign for you I think fingernails or I ( — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic) will be willing to help you creating one.

I don't know if Fingernails creates Signs any more, you have to ask him.

I don't know all created Signs

fingernails created:

  1. Kmanwing signature
  2. ashath
  3. Mia_signature.png TALK
  4. Fingernails.png (talk)
  5. Fingernails
  6. Kmanwing_sig.png (talk)
  7. and maybe some more

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic created:

  1. JoKalliauer
  2. 20100831074932!Jo-Kalliauer.jpg [usertalk]
  3. Jo-Kalliauer-neu [user talk]
  4. JoKalliauer(talk)irtn o C butions)
  5. Johannes Kalliauer(talk).
  6. ♥CullenLoverForever17 ☆ [user talk]

If you want that I create it

I'm not very creative, so I would like a suggestion, or an example:

  1. Please choose your front: (Tell me the name)
    http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benutzer:Bigbossfarin/Schriftarten
  2. Please choose your color: (don't forget to zoom in and tell me the code)
    http://www.malin.us/images/htmlstuff/lghtmlcolors1.png
  3. Tell me the text I should write
  4. Tell me where I should link the text

For example ♥CullenLoverForever17 ☆ [user talk]:

  1. font-family:Edwardian Script; font-size:130%
  2. color:#00FF00; color:#FF0099; color:yellow
  3. I wrote: "♥CullenLoverForever17 *"
  4. I linked the text to User:CullenLoverForever17

If you say you want a sign like someone's else's Sign, please ask him or her first.

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 08:15, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Re:_Custom_Signatures

of course, you can

  1. post the link how to get it, or
  2. if it is not public you can give it on a web-space (Cloud Computing); f.e. This is mine (Microsoft Sky space), or
  3. do it yourself with someone's help.

two possibilities to create a sign:

  1. as text-->caus' it is a font only you have only at your computer it will displayed in the right font.
  2. as picture-->like Twilight fonts

If you want it as a picture, I can do it for you, but User:Fingernails has more expirence in creating fonts-text-pics.

User:Fingernails created 7 font-Pics on Twilight fonts.
I saw that there is one font (the second) missing and added it.

If you want that I make a picture,
1)I would like to know how big it should get:
Jo-Kalliauer-neu is 30px*100px with the gray border
2)Which color would you like for the Background?
If you want it transparent Background User:Fingernails has more experice with transparent Background, also I can create it.
3)Which color would you like for the Text?

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 16:50, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Signatures

It's been so long since I made mine, I've almost forgotten. To get my sort of color change I used this site:


http://www.tektek.org/color/


The box you put your signature in the preference tab isn't huge. So it can only hold so many characters. Mines pretty basic. Fingernails is really good at making them. You should ask him to make one for you. LuckyTimothy 22:13, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Well, it looks like you got some help, lol. I guess should've check the recent activity and would've seen the picture. LuckyTimothy 22:17, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

50-edits-on-Eclipse-filmpages Award

The Admins normally don't like it if you make much changes without changing much, like you did on Eclipse movie quotes
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 07:42, September 21, 2010 (UTC)

Re.:Sorry

I think you can't remove an award, and you can't do the count undone.
I'm not an Admin, so I just wanted to tell you, but maybe an Admin will warn you with a Warning Template that you could get blocked if you would do that again, but I don't think so.
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 16:07, September 21, 2010 (UTC)

New Wiki Look

I see that you don't have the new wiki look so lemme show you, you go to more, then click on preferences, then there's a whole lot of buttons and it says skins then click on "New Wikia Look", and save it and viola heres the new wiki Twifan_signature.png [usertalk] 22:56, September 22, 2010 (UTC)

Here you can see a expample how it should look like: File:Twilight Saga Wiki-New Look – Twilight Saga Wiki 1285183810677.png(black/gray/red), or go to Twilight_Saga_Wiki_talk:New_Look#22.Sep.10_19:30
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 06:29, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

hello —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kathleen twilighter (talkcontribs)

Editing a Gallery

I created Gallery: Royce King II. You edited my Seth and Leah Galleries by putting them in the category, yes? Could you do that for Royce King II also? I'm not sure how. Thank you!

Gallery: Royce King II

EmmettsLittleAngel by JoKalliauer(talk) 03:58, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

I just created Gallery: Emily Young. Category thing? :) Thanks again

Gallery: Emily Young

EmmettsLittleAngel by JoKalliauer(talk) 04:31, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Moving

Sorry I can't move Gallery: Seth Clearwater now:

You can not perform this action right now. Please try again in a few minutes, or contact Wikia if you are having difficulties.
Return to Special:MovePage.

Because Gallery:Seth Clearwater already exists; it is a redirection to Gallery:Boo Boo Stewart, so first Gallery:Seth Clearwater must get deleted.

I could copy Gallery: Seth Clearwater to Gallery:Seth Clearwater, but then the history would get deleted.

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 07:47, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

You can also Move Pages yourself:

  1. easy modus
    1. press the button right of the "Edit this page" is a ▼-Button
    2. press move
    3. Change "To new title:"
    4. Click save
  2. complex modus, if you can't find the button in the skin:
    1. write http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Special:MovePage/ into the adressbar of the browser (don't click goto)
    2. write the name of the site f.e. Gallery:_Seth_Clearwater
    3. click goto (or enter)
    4. Change "To new title:"
    5. Click save

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 08:28, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Terrible Vandalization

Just wanted to let you know your page has been majorly vandalized. D: Puddinginthesky 21:43, September 28, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

You righted everything? Great. Now, she's attacked mine. Puddinginthesky 22:44, September 28, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthsky

You're welcom and, not that I know of. Last time I checked, people couldn't edit someone else's page. IDK why they'd mess with yours. Then again, you me and ELA are about the only people who don't love Edward and Bella to death and back.Puddinginthesky 23:22, September 28, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Normally I don't get involved in other people's conversations, but just logged on and saw multipe edits to your user page and decided to see what is up. And then I noticed this thread. So the user has been banned. But more importantly you ask if anybody can edit your page -- currently yes. But I can change the protection to semi-protected so that new users and anonymous users can't edit your user page. LuckyTimothy 23:30, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
I saw you did every Vandalization undo, I want to tell you there is a easier modus, for Users without rollback rights to do multiple changes undo:
  1. go to your History of your Userpage:
    http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/index.php?title=User:Kirby_Phelps_%28PK%29&action=history
  2. go to the last not vandalized page (click on the Date):
    http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/index.php?title=User:Kirby_Phelps_%28PK%29&oldid=193114
  3. click on edit:
    http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/index.php?title=User:Kirby_Phelps_%28PK%29&action=edit&oldid=193114#EditPage
  4. click on save [alt-shift-s]
Now all changes got undone
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 07:02, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
Ness gifThank you for the undo tip. I'll try that next time.
Wikia Sig (talk) 07:14, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
I'll hope, that there is no next time, that you don't need to try it. — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic

RE: Semi-protected

Done. I figured you want it just semi, because full protection means only admins can edit your page. And I didn't think you'd want that, lol. LuckyTimothy 23:49, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

Categories

Kirby, when you talk a pack you talk both shapeshifter and Quileute. You also almost always talk male. Therefore there is no need to add unnecessary categories to pages. :) Ngebendi 10:46, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Wanna be freinds?

Hey I was wondering if you wanted too be freinds, 'cause I think your awsome and even though I'm on Team Volturi I like Jacob better than Edward if that helps, I feel sorry for Jake's taste in women first Bella-mary-sue-I-suck-ass-Swan then Renesmee-I-am-killer-spawn-Cullen! He also tries his hardest to get a girl, which I think was really sweet, and endured so much pain it was cruel. One of the reasons I like the Volturi is 'cause they beat the living daylights out of Edward... the wolf packs cool too, they're funny and really laid back! Anyway, back to the point, do you want to be my freind? Vixter 20:44, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thankyou!:D Vixter 20:50, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Male.

That's actually the reason I took the category out - the default for a shapeshifter is being a male. Consider also the names, they're all males. Notice, though, I've kept the category for Leah, the stink she raised notwithstanding. Because of it, actually; she's the exception to the rule. Jacob being a major character is the more a reason to take it out - how would the Twilight Saga have progressed if he were a lady?

Categories should be informative and used sparingly, otherwise a wiki will be swamped by them.

Ngebendi 07:36, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

Re: User_talk:JoKalliauer#Bandwidth

Thanks for telling me, but I already noticed it some minutes ago (User:Ngebendi wrote on my Talkpage) , but I don't have time now to upload the pics to wikia.

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 18:04, October 6, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know why, but my Page works again, without doing anything
I think there is a limit how many times per month you are allowed to few the pictures on pages.
 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 17:47, October 14, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Title

Well, I'll have to think about it. Go ahead and write and we'll decide on a title later. Puddinginthesky 00:32, October 11, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Shapeshifters.

Kirby,

We've already discussed it before. Leah Clearwater raised too much stink by phasing into a wolf for us not to know that all the other shapeshifters wear their jewels below the belt. You talk shapeshifter, you talk Quileute and male. Therefore, since the only qualification for membership in a pack is being a shapeshifter, the only needed category is whatever pack one belongs to - Quileute, male and shapeshifter are unneeded.

Ngebendi 11:17, October 13, 2010 (UTC)


Brushed with him, too, and a bit more forcefully than with you. Being an admin does not necessarily make him right and me wrong, but in a couple of cases it was so.

Don't take me too seriously, though. Me not being an admin does not make me right and him wrong, either. As long as you can persuade me of your arguments, you can make all the changes you want. If someone manages, it'll probably do me good; I'm getting a bit too sure of my opinions... Ngebendi 17:48, October 13, 2010 (UTC)



> If someone went into the category of males and didn't see Jacob in it, they'd probably be confused, right?

Males -> Shapeshifters -> Jacob's pack -> Jacob, Seth, Embry, Quil, Leah (female).

The rule stays the same whether you go bottom up or top down.

However, on my blog page there is a call for suggestions, ideas and such about categories. Thus far the main answer has been that the sweat and the glory are mine; since I've just started sweating and there's a lot of non-wiki interference, the glory will have to wait. Would it be much trouble for you to bring your ideas there? Not just the shapeshifter's gender, but whatever else you can think of? The problem is that I'll have not just to bring up some workable plan, but also to check it against what's been implemented - a longish work. Ngebendi 19:58, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, I've got godly powers.

Comments have been deleted. ;) LuckyTimothy 03:05, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

Pam beat me to it. And it's not the same person -- just a spam bot. I banned two of them the other day, but they are probably using proxies to get by the block. LuckyTimothy 17:32, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

Fan Fic and Twilighted

Well, that's kind of a shame. Twilighted usually only accepts the best...or maybe it just got sent to a admin. that was a total Grammar Nazi. Anyways, writing is just like a job. It demands time, effort, and concentration. You may sit for an hour and only write one sentence. Sucks but it's true. So., don't rush it. When you get time it should flow easily enough. Puddinginthesky 17:13, October 24, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

I knew I was forgetting someone

Forgive me. My brain isn't working properly today. Yeah, by all means help with the Top Ten lists. Pudding is doing Bella ones I guess, so pick a character or group or whatever that's consistent so we don't duplicate. LuckyTimothy 02:32, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

No, they will be kept there. Xean wanted to keep them so the comments could stay. Just a random note -- no idea if you are doing a list now, but don't do Top Ten Eclipse Quotes. I'm doing that one now and I don't want to have done all that copy and pasting for nothing, lol. I already did that today when I figured out a list I did -- 20 minutes mind you -- was already done by Xean. :( LuckyTimothy 02:59, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
Alright, sweet. Well, here's the link to creating new pages. Have fun with the copying and pasting.... :P

http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Special:CreateTopList

LuckyTimothy 03:05, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I've noticed that too. I don't know, it's beyond my coding skills. There is a drop down menu at the top, so that might be it for now. LuckyTimothy 03:27, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, all that C&P all for naught. I guess pride will have to be your achievement, lol. Do me a favor though, when you put in the name for the new version of the list, can you put it in exactly as it was originally. LuckyTimothy 03:37, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
Are you saying that's what it's saying or what will happen? I created the page "Hottest characters" with the exact name and didn't have any problems naming it exactly the same:

to

Time for a new header

Yeah, I would just use that link I gave you. I don't think they are meant to be made the way you described. LuckyTimothy 04:40, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Good question....Email is most conventional...But by talk page would work to, I suppose. Puddinginthesky 21:52, October 26, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

I suppose that would work...Puddinginthesky 22:26, October 26, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Award

I awarded you with:Twilight wolfpackleader 300x75-1
(Sorry that I first awarded you with Twilight vampirecovenleader 300x75)

Ps.: The contributions Awards like Twilight wolfpackleader 300x75-1 aren't related with the other Awards.
f.e. I have started with the Second Set of awards but I haven't got the Twilight 1flower 75x75 Award.

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 17:31, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

File:Knives_LOVE.gif

I like the pic File:Knives_LOVE.gif, so may I am allowed to use it on other pages, like on www.myspace.com/jokalliauer?

 — Johannes Kalliauer (talk) Pic 17:31, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

Fanfiction

Hey, sorry for the wait. I think it's pretty darn awesome! It seems to have a Meyer-ish flow to it which is good. Lovely, so far. Puddinginthesky 20:20, November 3, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Chapter 2

Okay, that was the most perfect (grammar, lol) piece of fluff I've read in a while! Everything seems just fine. It is short, but the finesse of the body and the flow makes up for it. Just be sure chapter three gives some kick, and a slightly larger word count. All in all, lovely. Puddinginthesky 03:11, November 13, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky


Great! Be sure to let me know when you start getting feedback. Puddinginthesky 14:37, November 13, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Chapter 3 (are you, like, Stephenie Meyer in disguise?)

Yay! I loved it. I can't wait to see who "the velvet voice" was.... I do think you should italicize the "Kwop kilawtley". But otherwise, keep up the GREAT work!Puddinginthesky 00:00, November 23, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Chapter 4

I like it a lot, but here are some things you can fix:

  • "I still couldn't speak, he noticed this." can become "I still couldn't speak and he noticed this." or "I stil couldn't speak. He noticed this." It would just flow better.
  • " -He paused to sigh-" leave out the hyphens. Make it like a sentance. "blah blah blah blah blah" He paused to sigh. "Blah Blah" just leave out the hyphens in "-he growled the name-"
  • "Oh no. This isn't just me going insane, I realized it now."
  • "The other part of me, the part that still clung to him, the part I thought was gone, it was back to cast its vengeance on me at last."
  • "I'm a good liar, I have to be, but it still pained me to know that you'd accept my lie so easily." Replce those commas with the little hyphen thingies.
  • '"I am," he assured, "Bella, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Do you still believe that this isn't real?"'Make the comma after assured a period.
  • "I could not look him in the eye; would he be heartbroken?" Just cut out the semi colon and make a new sentence.

But yeah, awesome from what I can tell. You don't have to change those things, though. The readers won't care.

Puddinginthesky 22:05, December 4, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Oh, you're welcome. It's what betas are for, lol.Puddinginthesky 22:51, December 4, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

Hey, that sucks but they are kinda nit-picky on there. I'll get right on fixing those things for you so you can repost... After I clean up some...Puddinginthesky 21:38, December 15, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

p.s, I'll also look over the latest chapter.

Twilighted

Hey, about the Twilighted submission, they said you had a problem with past and present tense. Most of it's past tense, like, they did something, rather than they are doing something. So, do you want me to go through and fix all of that or just point out where the mstakes are? Puddinginthesky 20:09, December 24, 2010 (UTC)puddinginthesky

ZOMG! I'm so sorry!

Hey, the chapters look pretty good. I'm really sorry I've been unresponive. School has been so busy lately I've not had time for good beta-ing. I've had six tests this week, plus several papers due. I plan on catching up with the fic in about 2 or 3 weeks. If you could just continue being patient, I'd be greatful. Also, there's a cat on my keyboard so excuse that, if you would.

hi

hi!

I read your version of twilight!

it really moved me!

if u want to write it as a story i made a wiki where u write stories and this is the link:

http://createastory.wikia.com/wiki/Create_a_story_Wiki

hope u post it on my wiki!

remeber your version of twilight is the BEST!

BYE

hello55522 18:11, March 28, 2012 (UTC)

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