(Renesmee’s Diary) Nicole
October 29, 2011
January 1st, 2011
“I was transformed at age eighteen when groupies were ‘groovy’ and drugs fit right in with the music and excessive beer chugging.” Nicole pleated her skirt, shutting her eyes to remember her past life.
Her mortal life.
“In every corner someone was having a hallucination, or a new song was being played…Woodstock was one getaway in ’69,” she chuckled, bitterly, opposing her reminiscing urge.
It was a humble Tuesday night and we were wrapping up the New Year’s Day celebrations with Nicole. Upon request, I ripped up the pages I wrote about Nicole during Christmas. Nicole is very cautious about what I write about her for some reason. I did mention, though, that my diary is strictly confidential and that there should be no concern. Nicole just shook her head and demanded I not share much about her life. I wonder why….
This entry is perfect because Nicole is finally budding from her shy character to an energetic, outgoing figure. She finally agreed to tell her story, the story of before her life turned into “one secret.”
“I lived with my twin sister and widowed mother. I don’t know what happened to my father…he’s just not in any of my human memories – so I’ve theorized that he left, or passed on when I was quite young,” She began.
Esme gingergly wrapped her arm around Nicole, sheltering her with love that Nicole had never been exposed to before. It seemed Nicole wished to shake off Esme’s affection, but instead she politely grinned.
There were some things about Nicole that I fathomed, and some things that I wished I didn’t know. I’m not referring to her history, or the way she dressed or talked, but her personality. Nicole was a very insecure individual, trapped in a fragile, frightened soul.
“I’m frozen forever at sixteen. I don’t know what happened that night-” She paused and her eyes searched for guidance and in no time Carlisle nodded, encouraging her to move on. “- I believe I was born in Connecticut, but I only remember living in upstate New York – especially in my teen years, and that one summer at Woodstock.” Jacob crept into the room now and huddled by my side, relieved that his early morning patrol was completed.
“Did you do drugs?” Emmett asked, blind that his question was anything but mindful.
Before Rose was able to disdain Emmett’s innapropriate behavior, Nicole answered. This was not something I expected, since Nicole was typically shy and timid when it came to being personal. However, at the same time, she oddly didn’t seem ashamed of her answer, but proud that she finally let a strand of her “secret life” escape so she wouldn’t have to hold in the pain by herself.
Other’s could sympathize with her and understand. Nicole was beginning to sense this was not your average immortal/mortal family. And not because we consisted of four different species, but because we all loved and adored each other for who we were. We were all about protecting each other from harm because of love–insecurity is unnecesary because we’ve all had our faults here.
“Well I’m going to be blunt here. Since you’re all from different times and most of you have lived through the 60s and 70s I’ll pardon my distrust. I trust that all of you understand that drugs were very popular, and like any young person, I did drugs. No, I’m not proud of doing them, but I never had anyone to tell me not to. My mom was a hippie, unconditionally devoted to drugs, booze, men, and music. In fact, I called her Charlotte, not Mom. She wasn’t Mom to me. She was Charlotte.”
I know my mother cringed at that one. She called her own father Charlie because she was never close enough to him to call him “Dad.” Nicole had a valid reason though, to refer to her mom as Charlotte. Not that I personally know Charlotte, but I can see that she was not a mother at all. Her focus was never directed towards her children, but her own selfish desires. Nicole shielded herself from seeping emotions in and out. It was understandable because she had no one to depend on, it seemed.
“I loved my sister very much and I could count on her… but she was like Charlotte, always becoming involved with the wrong people.” She braced herself for a second, almost as if she were going to bawl (if she could), then continued. “I don’t know where she is. All I know is that she became a very malicious, blood-thirsty monster. When me and her awoke from our transition from human to immortal, there was an eerie man watching us intently. He introduced us into the world of vampires and then that was it…..we never saw him again.” She shrugged, clearly devoid of words. She had just revealed her entire life story to us, something we all would remember, forever.
“Do you by any chance, recall what the man looked like?” My father asked. I knew there was something up his sleeve, as always.
“No, not really. Just dark brown hair and a navy T-shirt….that’s about it.” My dad’s face perplexed as he contemplated who the estranged vampire was. His face duplicated that of a lost child, which meant my father had no leads.
“It was probably just an ordinary vampire who saw the gathering at Woodstock and seized the oppurtunity to attack,” Carlisle offered, to provide some relief. “Hey, is that Chanel?” Nicole was instantly intrigued with Alice’s sense of fashion. Even though I’m a bit bummed I’m losing a chance to accumulate a new friend, I’m glad Nicole will befriend Alice because it means I can finally dress myself. This way, Alice will be distracted by Nicole’s interest.
“No, I’m wearing Valentino,” Alice corrected, now seeing Nicole as a rookie. “That’s what I thought, I never liked fashion, I just liked stealing everything,” Nicole laughed, stumbling then having to catch herself in the process. Maybe this girl was more down to earth than I thought.
“Come on, Ness, let’s help Esme clean up,” my mother urged. Even with all the vampires in the world, there would never be enough hands to help clean the damage hauled upon us from an entire pack of famished guests.
Just as I was on my way, I collided with Nicole. Images of me and…her projected in my head. We were chanting “Ring Around the Rosie” in pearl-white dresses, barefoot. She saw it too because she glared at me, astonished.
I don’t know how to explain what happened. All I know is that I have to assist Esme and my mom now.
With love (always),