Please read the author's note first.
Author's note: So a few days ago, I posted the official first chapter of my Twilight Saga fanfic. I said I wasn't going to ever post the entire story, and I am sticking to that, so I decided to post a random bit. I think I will post a lot of these in the future. This random bit contains violence, so...yeah. Also, remember this: this is not a lovey-dovey fanfic at all; it is a tale of abuse, lies, and doing whatever it takes to find self-satisfaction, self-acceptance, and love--things these characters never really find at all. One pop artist might say they are on that "road to love". (Follow that unicorn!) This is an "angsty" story with mostly canon characters, only they are a bit out of character. There are also no other species besides humans in this. Vampires and werewolves and whatnot would be impossible to have in this story. This random part takes place a lot later than where we first saw our whiny protagonist in the twelfth grade, in January. Now, it is late-April, Bella is still in her senior year of high school, she is a lot closer to Jacob, and her not-so-nice Prince Charming (Edward) is back. Who knows what could happen? Well, now, 'you' will. Here is my random bit of my Twilight Saga fanfic.
"Jacob, I love you too," I said. I couldn't face him. I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes and tell him that. I didn't know if the words were entirely true. Did I even love him?
Great. So I had gotten myself into yet another mess. I wasn't getting out of either so easily though.
I wanted to be with Jacob. I wanted to be with him badly. I wanted to be away from Edward. But something--and I wasn't sure what--kept pulling me back into Edward's force after the many times he had hurt me. Was it love? Was it lust? There wasn't really a fine line between those two things these days.
I wasn't sure if I loved Jacob either. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
I wanted to be with Jacob so much that I had told him I had broken up with Edward, just to be with Jake. But in reality, I hadn't broken up with either boy. I knew that if I tried to break up with Edward again he would only hurt me again, so there was no way I was getting out of that relationship. Then with Jacob, I thought I loved him, and I couldn't bare to break his heart. He mattered too much to me. I would do anything for Jacob. So now I was in an affair, you may call it, with both guys, neither of them knowing I was secretly dating the other. Just another ragged, ugly piece of my messed up life.
"Really? Really, Bella?" Jacob asked me.
"Of course," I lied. Lies, lies, lies. Almost everything that came out of my mouth was a lie now. What was the point of even speaking anymore?
I looked down at my right forearm. Ugh. There was a big purple bruise there now. I thought I had covered them all up. Hopefully nobody would notice. I never remembered when Edward had given me bruises on my arms, legs, face, and stomach; there were too many and he gave them too often. He barely ever hit me in the face because he knew that people would notice that first probably. He wanted to look like the perfect boyfriend. All I remembered about my bruises was that Edward was fuming. We got into arguments all the time, and it would always involve us hitting and screaming at each other. He always got angry that I hung out with Jacob and other people. Of course, he didn't know I was dating Jacob at the same time as I dated him, but his little fights were a pain to deal with. He got so jealous so easily, it was insane.
I finally looked at Jacob. He was serious. And he was staring straight at me.
"Of course I love you," I said, "but I'd rather not talk about it."
"So I just told you I love you, and you don't want to talk about it?" His expression was now soft and a bit confused too.
"I'd rather have you kiss me," I told him.
When he didn't move because he was probably so confused, I placed a hand on his cheek and put my lips to his. His lips were warm and soft. Every time we kissed it was like our first kiss. I wondered if we would ever get used to this, to realize that we had kissed so many times before, to realize that it was not such a big deal anymore. Or maybe for him, it was a big deal.
He kissed me back. I knew he would. He cupped his hands around my face and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. His kiss wasn't greedy; it was tender and probably overthought. Kissing was supposed to be effortless after a while. Didn't he know that? He wasn't supposed to be that careful with me still. We connected to each other in a new way now.
So there was nothing I could change about that. I would just have to wait for him to grow up a bit, or just deal with it if he never did switch up his ways.
When he was finished, I smiled and said, "See? I love you too."
He smiled back, but the warm smile was gone in two seconds. He was staring at the bruise on my right arm. "Where'd that come from?"
"Do you really expect me to remember where all my bruises come from?" I asked bitterly. Then I tried to take his mind off of it. I tried putting my lips to his again.
He wouldn't let me kiss him. "Bella, are you still seeing Edward?" he asked me seriously.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "No, of course not. I'm only with you," I lied. I had become good at lying now. I was believed almost all the time now.
"Tell me the truth. Did he hit you?" Jacob asked me.
I was silent. So he didn't buy it. "No," I fibbed.
"I don't believe you."
"Well, you should, because he didn't hit me," I told him defensively.
He was silent. He continued to stare at my bruise. He looked angry.
"Don't get mad," I told him softly.
He was still silent.
What could he do? I thought.
So I told him. "Okay, Edward did hit me," I confessed.
Jacob got up and stormed outside. I followed him. "What are you doing?" I called.
He didn't reply. He already had his car keys in hand.
"What are you doing?!" I yelled at him, still following him outside.
"I'm taking you home first," he said, his voice staccato.
"Fine." I got in the passenger seat of his Volkswagen Rabbit.
I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked at the Caller ID. It was Edward. Great. "Hey, Edward, I'm on my way home now."
"Where were you?" he asked angrily.
"I...I was at--" I fumbled for something false to tell him. "Angela's. I was at Angela's. I'm coming home now."
"I'm waiting in your driveway," he said, sounding annoyed. "Hurry up."
"Okay, fine." I hung up and buckled my seatbelt. We were already zooming down the highway back to Forks.
"Who was that?" Jacob asked me.
"It was Edward," I told him. "He's waiting for me at my house."
By the time Jacob was parked on the curb, it was raining heavily. I saw Edward leaning against the door of his silver Volvo. Jacob got out of the car and charged up the driveway to Edward.
"Jacob!" I shouted. "Stop!"
He ignored me. "That does it, Cullen," he spat at Edward.
"What did I do now, Black?" he asked bitterly.
"First you went down to the rez to beat up my boy Paul, and now you're hitting girls." Jacob was only a few inches away from Edward.
Edward shoved him. "Get away from me," he growled.
Jacob shoved him back. "What, do you hit your sister too?!"
"I said, get away!" he yelled. Edward tried to punch Jacob in the face, but he missed by a few inches. Jacob punched Edward square in the face. Edward was bleeding from the nose in seconds.
In the next few seconds the boys were strangling, punching, and kicking each other. They were also cursing a lot. I screamed for them to cut it out, but nobody listened.
I got between them, to break the up, and when Edward realized I was trying to do that, he pushed me--hard--out of the way and onto the concrete. I landed on my back and hit my head. "Ow!" I exclaimed. He didn't seem to regret hurting me at all. Just like always. Then he went back to hurting Jacob.
Jacob had him in a choke hold when Charlie came out of the house. "What is going on?!" he yelled. He had to seperate Jacob and Edward himself. "What happened?" he asked them, still standing between them. Jacob and Edward were both bleeding a lot. I was even bleeding from when I scraped my arm on the concrete.
"Guess what, Charlie?" Jacob asked, staring at Edward in pure hatred. "Edward's been beating your daughter."
Charlie stared at Edward. He looked like he wanted to kill Edward. "WHAT?"
"You heard me," Jacob said. He turned to me. "Bella, show him your bruises."
I looked down to the wet concrete. The rain was still pounding to the surface. "Go home, Jake," I mumbled, feeling the hot tears running down my face. I had messed up everything once again.
Charlie walked over to me. "Show them to me, Bella," he said softly.
I showed him my right arm, and the bruise seemed to be throbbing now. Charlie turned to Edward with a serious, angry look on his face. "You're in trouble, Edward. Go home. Now."
Edward wordlessly got into his car and drove away. After he left, Jacob left, silent too.
"Let's get you out of the rain," Charlie told me gently. We walked up the driveway and into the house silently. "Why don't you--" he began.
"I don't want to talk about it."