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Personal! (Huge text post, you don't have to read unless you really want to (: )

TeamSeth April 13, 2012 User blog:TeamSeth

I hadn't really spoken to my best friend in almost two months, but yesterday it all changed... He texted one of my friends during class and asked her if she was waiting for someone (though, that's not so important), and she was texting with me at the same time (I was at home). I was sort of angry with him so I asked my friend to tell him. She did, he didn't understand. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next, but I had a certain clue. Later that day, I was eating dinner when I suddenly got a text from my best friend's best friend (confusing, I know), and he asked the question I had been waiting for "Why are you mad at him?". Great, I thought. He's gossiped about it. I told this guy I didn't feel like telling him until I had talked with my best friend, so we just let it be.

My best friend was online later that night, so I decided to make the first move. I told him that I wasn't mad as in the way that I would yell at him and stuff like that, and he told me that he'd figured that out already. And then I told him mostly what I feel and have been feeling these past months, and he said that he understands me completely, and he also said "It shouldn't be like this :(". That seriously broke my heart, and I told him that I was willing to start all over, at least try, and he replied "We should. Maybe it'll work out, maybe not, but we HAVE to try." and that made me feel so much better!

Today was kind of awkward because of yesterday's incident, but this tiny, tiny little action made my day: We smiled at each other. Words cannot describe how that made me feel. I mean, we haven't even looked at each other at school lately, so personally, I think this is a huge step forward. It's just that I miss our friendship and I want it back. Hopefully, this was the first step we had to take to build it up again. :)

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Sorry you guys, but I have so much more to tell! We've been working on some jewelery in art class lately and I didn't even have the time to finish mine. Our teacher told us that we would be getting it back today and I got really nervous because I was expecting a 3 (that's, like, a D or something), but then she came over to me and was like "You got a 5 on your jewelery" and I almost fell off of my chair. Like, no joke. I was SO surprised and SO happy, I just burst out a big WHAT?! I mean, 5 is the same as a B or something! And I've never gotten such a good great in art before so this made me really happy!

I find it funny though, how it's Friday 13th and this has been one of the best days, for me at least, in a very long time. Me and my best friend smiled at each other for the first time in months, and I got the highest grade I've ever gotten in art class... If that isn't something to smile about, than I don't know what is!

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But in the middle of all this, I have a friend who has a really low self esteem. This is actually my best friend's best friend (y'know, the one I talked about earlier), and I feel so bad for him! He feels left out most of the time and he's really uncomfortable around people, he believes nobody likes him and that he's ugly and I just... I wanna give him the biggest hug ever! The worst part is that I keep telling him that he's wrong, but then he replies "Nope, I'm just being realistic. :)" and it breaks my heart because he doesn't realise how amazing he really is. It sucks having a good friend who's not happy with themselves. Knowing he feels that way makes me sad, tbh.

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I apologize if I bother you guys with stuff like this, it's just that this is one out of very few places where I feel like I can be myself a hundered per cent, and letting everything out without being judged. :)

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