I slept over at a friend's house last night and she had downloaded BD part 1 (considering it's not released here until the 14th of March) so we watched it and let me just tell you, there are no words to describe what kind of emotions that runs through me when watching that movie. Like, I was prepared for that I would cry this time as well as I did the first time I watched it, but I didn't think it was going to be that bad. Some people (who are not as dedicated to the saga, that is) would most likely just shed a few tears or maybe not even cry at all, but not me. Nope. Not at all. I just tend to lose all control and all my feelings are let out at once. Mostly during Bella and Jake's wedding dance, then during the birth and also when Jake imprints. I wouldn't even call what I'm doing crying, I would rather call it bawling. It's seriously that bad. The tears just keep streaming down my face, and with them, so does my mascara, my throat gets all stuffed up and I can barely breathe. I swear, I just sit there, sobbing. It's crazy. I think it's mostly because I feel so attached to Jake and since I've read the books, I can sort of understand the pain he's going through. Oh, and also because of Taylor's uh-mazing acting. Seriously, he killed that part! Kristen's really really great, too, and I think Robert did an excellent job as well. But yeah, it's mostly those Bella/Jake-moments that just breaks my heart. Especially when they dance together, and when Jake is fully convinced that Bella is dead so he just drops to the ground, crying. I'm just sitting there, crying (bawling) even more than him and I'm all like "OH MY GOSH MY POOR BABY COME HERE AND LET ME LOVE YOU", aha. And the imprinting scene makes me cry, too, because I hate the whole concept. I also hate the fact that all the moments he had with Bella were replaced by new memories with Renesmee. Ugh. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Forever bitter, Stephenie.

My feelings exactly.

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