There are flawed movie characters. One-dimensional movie characters. Incomprehensible movie characters.

But every once and a while you get a hero so soulless, heartless and expressionless that you can't help but write him off. A guy you want to punch more than hug, who you heckle in hopes that he fails.

Edward Cullen is such a mess. He groans and fawns and broods and sighs, with the same dumb expression on his face, rendering him a pretty slight heartthrob. He delivers his lines in the same montone, jagged fashion, rendering him a pretty timid orator. And he continuously gets his butt kicked in fights, making him a less than awe-inspiring vampire.

As written in these scripts, and as portrayed by Robert Pattinson, he's a pretty worthless creat…

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