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'''<nowiki>'''</nowiki>TWILIGHT IS NOT A FUCKING SAGA! IT IS A PIECE OF UNADULTERATED SHIT! EDWARD IS ABUSIVE! BELLA IS AN IDIOT! VAMPIRES DON'T FUCKING SPARKLE! TEAM JACOB! RENESMEE IS A DEMON SPAWN! I ROOT FOR THE BAD GUYS! YES, SMEYER, PLEASE, DO KILL EVERYONE OFF!<br /><br />This has been a public service announcement from your resident Twilight Haters Alliance. We now return you to your regularly scheduled pile of shit.<nowiki>'''</nowiki>'''
 
   
   
   
   
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''You might be looking for ''[[Logic in the Twilight Series|''Logic in the Twilight Series'']]'' and not even know it!''
 
 
 
 
 
"Motherfucker, are you out of your damn mind?"
 
 
'''Blade on the Twilight series'''
 
 
 
 
"LOLWUT?"
 
 
'''Stephen King on the Twilight series'''
 
 
 
 
"A series even less heterosexual than me."
 
 
'''Oscar Wilde on the Twilight Series'''
 
 
 
 
"Preeeeetty bad."
 
 
'''The Nostalgia Critic on the Twilight Series'''
 
 
 
 
"Wat? They sparkle?"<br />'''Captain Oblivious on the Twilight Series'''
 
 
<br />"This is the Night Watch! Everyone step out of the Twilight NOW!"
 
 
'''Anton Gorodetsky on Twilight'''
 
 
 
 
"[[Stephenie Meyer|Bitch]] be trippin' balls, man."
 
 
'''Alucard on the Twilight Series'''
 
 
 
 
{{Infobox Book
 
|name = Twilight
 
|image = [[Image:Book jacket of Twilight.jpeg|200px|Stephenie Meyer's ''Twilight'']]
 
|cover_artist = Gail Doobinin (design)<br /> Roger Hagadone (photograph)
 
|genre = Young adult, Fantasy, Romance, Wet Dream
 
|publisher = Megan Tingley
 
|release_date = October 5, 2005
 
|media_type = Print (Hardcover)
 
|pages = 498 pgs
 
|size_weight = Doorstopper
 
|isbn = ISBN 0-316-16017-2
 
|followed_by = [[New Moon]]
 
}}
 
   
 
'''''Twilight''''' by [[Stephenie Meyer]], is the first book in the [[Twilight Saga|''Twilight'' Series]]. It was originally published in hardcover in 2005. The story is told from Mary Sue's point of view. The not yet released companion novel, ''[[Midnight Sun]]'', features the story told from Sparkledropbutt's point of view.
 
'''''Twilight''''' by [[Stephenie Meyer]], is the first book in the [[Twilight Saga|''Twilight'' Series]]. It was originally published in hardcover in 2005. The story is told from Mary Sue's point of view. The not yet released companion novel, ''[[Midnight Sun]]'', features the story told from Sparkledropbutt's point of view.
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Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week, drive home safely.
 
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week, drive home safely.
   
James is subsequently ripped apart and burned by Buff Muddy, one of Sparkledropbutt's brothers. Mary is taken to a hospital in Phoenix, where she recovers from the attack. The story they choose to give Mary Sue's parents is that she fell down two flights of stairs and through a window in a hotel, using her clumsiness (which is part of her "charm") to cover up for what really happened to her.
+
James is subsequently ripped apart and burned by Buff Muddy, one of Sparkledropbutt's brothers. Mary is taken to a hospital in Phoenix, where she recovers from the attack. The story they choose to give Mary Sue's parents is that she fell down two flights of stairs and through a window in a hotel, using her clumsiness (which is part of her "charm") to cover up for what really happened to her.
   
 
Once returning to Sporks, Mary goes to the prom with Sparkledropbutt, where she expresses her desire to become a meyerpire, which Sparkledropbutt refuses to let happen. The book ends with neither of them refusing to budge, but as deeply in lust as ever.
 
Once returning to Sporks, Mary goes to the prom with Sparkledropbutt, where she expresses her desire to become a meyerpire, which Sparkledropbutt refuses to let happen. The book ends with neither of them refusing to budge, but as deeply in lust as ever.
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==Awards and nominations ==
 
==Awards and nominations ==
''Twilight'' gained recognition and won numerous honors, proving that that people like shit. I mean, just look at the naruto fandom. The awards include:
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''Twilight'' gained recognition and won numerous honors, proving that that people like shit. I mean, just look at the naruto fandom. The awards include:
 
*A ''New York Times'' Editor's Choice
 
*A ''New York Times'' Editor's Choice
 
*A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year
 
*A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year
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[[Category:Books]]
 
[[Category:Books]]
 
[[Category:Twilight series]]
 
[[Category:Twilight series]]
[[Category:Wet Dreams of Stephanie Meyer]]
 

Revision as of 02:24, 11 May 2009




Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, is the first book in the Twilight Series. It was originally published in hardcover in 2005. The story is told from Mary Sue's point of view. The not yet released companion novel, Midnight Sun, features the story told from Sparkledropbutt's point of view.

Plot summary

Isabella "Bella" Swan, moves from sunny Phoenix, Arizona to rainy Forks, Washington to live with her father, Charlie. She chooses to do this so that her mother, Renee, can travel with her new husband, Phil, who is a minor league baseball star. Even though Bella never had many friends in Phoenix, she attracts much attention at her new school in Forks, and is quickly befriended by several students. Much to her dismay, several boys in the school compete for shy Bella's attention.

When Bella sits next to Edward Cullen in biology class on her first day of school, Sparkledropbutt seems utterly repulsed. Sparkledropbutt is stunningly attractive, and inhumanly beautiful, yet he is an outsider too. He moves as far away from her as possible. He even attempts to change his schedule to avoid her, which leaves Mary completely puzzled about his attitude towards her. Shortly after he disappears for a while, Sparkledropbutt begins to talk to Mary Sue, having seemingly forgotten their unfriendly first encounter. One day, Mary looks at Sparkledropbutt, who is far away, in the parking lot. Oblivious to her, a student (Tyler Crowley) had lost control of his vehicle (this vehicle, known as "Tyler's Van" is, in fact, the actual hero in the saga), and it was rapidly progressing in her direction. Mary realizes this at the last moment, thinking she is dead. However, Sparkledropbutt appears and stops the oncoming car completely with one hand, leaving a dent, and shocking Mary with his speed and strength. Because of this terrible crime, our hero, Tyler's Van, is damaged nearly beyond repair, therefor ending his role in the Twilight series. Doesn't that suck? Damn you, Sparkledropbutt. Damn you to hell.

During a trip to the La Push reservation, Mary Sue tricks a family friend, Pedowolf-J of the Pedowolf tribe, into telling her the local tribal legends and she finds out why , although the Sparklepire-C Group have lived in Forks for two years, they have never really been accepted by the townsfolk. Pedowolf-J mentions the Sparklepire-C Group, and says that most of the reservation believes that they are meyerpires, though he doesn't think so. During a trip to Port Angeles, Sparkledropbutt rescues her again, this time from a band of Salvation Army fundraisers. Mary Sue asks him if what Pedowolf-J said about his family is true. Sparkledropbutt admits that he and his cult-friends are meyerpires, but says that he and his cult-friends only drink infantile blood to keep themselves from turning into the sparklebuffs that many other meyerpires are.

Sparkledropbutt and Mary Sue's relationship grows over time, and they fall passionately in lust. Their foremost problem is that to Sparkledropbutt, Mary's scent is a hundred times more potent than any other human's, making Sparkledropbutt struggle to resist his desire to kill her. However, despite this they manage to stay together safely for a time, completely killing the laws of vampire folklore, and thus making the series suck even more.

The seemingly perfect state of their relationship is thrown into chaos when Sparklepire-N Group sweeps into Sporks and James, a professional pimp stalker, decides that he wants to hunt Mary, because the poor guy is a little hungry. Sparklepire-C Group plans to distract the tracker by splitting up Mary and Sparkledropbutt, and Mary Sue is sent to hide in a hotel in Phoenix. Mary then gets a phone call from James in which he says that he has her mother, and Mary is forced to give herself up to James at her old dance studio. Upon meeting him, Mary discovers her mother wasn't at the dance studio and was safe all along. James attacks Mary, but Sparkledropbutt, along with the rest of the Sparklepire-C Group, rescues Mary before James can kill her. To Sparkledropbutt's horror, Mary begins to feel like her hand is on fire; James had bitten her. The only thing that could be done save her life was to suck the poison out of the supernatural hickey. Sparkledropbutt is the only one who can do so as the others would find it too hard not to finish. To his and Mary Sue's amazment, he is able to stop after sucking the poison out.

Doctor Freud would have a lot to say about that.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week, drive home safely.

James is subsequently ripped apart and burned by Buff Muddy, one of Sparkledropbutt's brothers. Mary is taken to a hospital in Phoenix, where she recovers from the attack. The story they choose to give Mary Sue's parents is that she fell down two flights of stairs and through a window in a hotel, using her clumsiness (which is part of her "charm") to cover up for what really happened to her.

Once returning to Sporks, Mary goes to the prom with Sparkledropbutt, where she expresses her desire to become a meyerpire, which Sparkledropbutt refuses to let happen. The book ends with neither of them refusing to budge, but as deeply in lust as ever.

Cover

According to the author Stephenie Meyer, the apple on the cover is meant to represent the forbidden fruit from the book of Genesis in the Bible. It is also a symbol of Mary and Sparkledropbutt’s forbidden lust and represents choice. The similarity between the forbidden lust and the forbidden fruit is further reinforced by the quote from Genesis 2:17 that opens the book.[1]

Awards and nominations

Twilight gained recognition and won numerous honors, proving that that people like shit. I mean, just look at the naruto fandom. The awards include:

  • A New York Times Editor's Choice
  • A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year
  • An Amazon.com "Best Book of the Decade...So Far"
  • A Teen People "Hot List" pick
  • An American Library Association "Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults" and "Top Ten Books for Reluctant Readers"
  • Translation into 20 languages [2]
  • A New York Times Best Seller[3]

==

Critical reception

The critical reception for Twilight has been mixed. Booklist wrote, "There are some flaws here–a plot that could have been tightened, an over reliance on adjectives and adverbs to bolster dialogue–but this dark romance seeps into the soul."[4]Kirkus wrote: "[Twilight] is far from perfect: Mary Sue's appeal is based on magic rather than character."[5] Patty Campbell of Amazon.com noted that "The precision and delicacy of Meyer's writing lifts this wonderful novel beyond the limitations of the horror genre to a place among the best of YA fiction."[6]Publishers Weekly's starred review described Mary's "infatuation with outsider Sparkledropbutt", their risky relationship, and "Sparkledropbutt's inner struggle" as a metaphor for sexual frustration accompanying adolescence.[6]BusinessWorld Weekender reporter Johanna Pohlete noted the "mass hysteria" over Twilight and the series as a whole.[7]

Literate people agree that Stephenie Meyer cannot write worth a duck's ass. So does Stephen King.


Film adaptation

Twilight has been adapted into a film and was released on November, 21 2008. It was directed by Catherine Hardwicke, and the screenplay written by Stephenie Meyer and Melissa Rosenberg. The film stars Kristen Stewart as Mary Sue and Bobby Patty as Sparklebuttdrop, along with several other slutbag actors and actresses.

Fansites

Main article: FansitesTwilight has been popular with fans all over the world and there are numerous sites relating to it.

The Truth About Twilight

Editions

Little, Brown and Company (United States, etc.)
Topeka Bindery (United States, etc.)
ATOM (United Kingdom, etc.)
Alfaguara (Spain, etc.)
Hachette (France, etc.)
Sony Magazines (Japan, etc.)
Sjaloom (The Netherlands, etc.)
Carlson (Germany, etc.)
Piper (Germany, etc.)

References

  1. What's with the apple?. StephenieMeyer.com. Retrieved on 2008-02-08.
  2. Stephenie Meyer's Official Website. StephenieMeyer.com. Retrieved on 2008-07-23.
  3. Leila Summers (2008-01-19). "Part of 'Twilight' movie will be filmed at Kalama school", The Daily News Online. Retrieved on 2008-07-10. 
  4. Booklist Review at Amazon.com. Amazon.com. Retrieved on 2008-07-23.
  5. Kirkus Review at B&N.com. B&N.com. Retrieved on 2008-07-23.
  6. 6.0 6.1 Stephenie Meyer's official website - Twilight reviews. Retrieved on 2008-05-29.
  7. BusinessWorld Weekender 'Gothic romance'. Retrieved on 2008-07-23.

External Links

See also

Template:Twilight Saga