101 Things Twilight Taught Me
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- #1Your father will be angry that you're home late...until you tell him you were with the guy that he likes.16
votes - #2Before you go out with a boy make sure he isn't a vampire or werewolf5
votes - #3Suicide is just an epic way to say "I love you".3
votes - #4Love bites.3
votes - #5Never accept amazing job offers or trips to overseas countries.3
votes - #6If baseball brings a family together, saving one's love of their life also brings the family together, just with less coordianted outfits.2
votes - #7The real reason why the hottest guy in school won't talk to you is because he's a vampire that wants to suck your blood.2
votes - #8If you have to choose between fire and ice, choose fire.It's better than the ice, trust me!2
votes - #9If you ever fall in love with someone who loves you back but not as much as their boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't worry, because you'll fall in love with their kid.2
votes - #10Being in an elevator with more than three vampires with you, listening to opera the way down is...awkward.2
votes - #11A movie titled "Face Punch" will only have gunshot sound effects.2
votes - #12Cops are always the last to know.2
votes - #13Secretly having boys in your bedroom at night when your father's sleeping is glossed over with the fact that you're a fragile human that must be safe at all times.1
vote - #14Getting married at age 18 is not a good idea because it's stupid and irreversible...but is becoming a vampire any different?1
vote - #15If you are really HOT you are a werewolf, if you are really COLD you are a vampire and if you chose the cold one instead of the hot one, then you are a stupid human!1
vote - #16It doesn't matter if you were a horrible actor as a human; you will be Oscar-worthy when you are a vampire.1
vote - #17That's not thunder - that's just vampires playing baseball.1
vote - #18The hot ones are either taken, not into girls, or worse - NOT HUMAN.1
vote - #19Dads are suckers for the Dartmouth stories.1
vote - #20The good-looking guys go for the boring girls.0
votes - #21Vampires sparkle.0
votes - #22Forget "Holy crap" and "Holy cow" - "Holy crow" is sooo in.0
votes - #23When creating a newborn vampire army, make sure to use kids rather than hoboes and streetwalkers because kids wouldn't be noticed or missed.0
votes - #24You know he loves you when he dumps you like dog crap in the woods.0
votes - #25You know he loves you when he forces a kiss on you in his own personal act to get some smoochin'.0
votes - #26You know he loves you when he stalks you, obsesses over you, controls you, messes with your car so you can't see your BFF, and gets his sister to kidnap you.0
votes - #27Talking to a stranger with a motorcycle whose friends say they have beer isn't as bad as, say, cutting your wrist with a blade.0
votes - #28It is perfectly okay to tell your friends you're not going to the prom, then you go anyway; they won't care.0
votes - #29It's okay to cheat on your boyfriend with his mortal enemy as long as you tell your boyfriend you love him more.0
votes - #30Hey, you know that girl who you think hates you? Well, she doesn't hate you...but she doesn't particulary like you either.0
votes - #31When building a newborn army, GIVE SUBTLETY LESSONS. It will collapse (or get beaten up by a couple of vamps and a pack of huge dogs) if you don't.0
votes - #32It doesn't matter if you're in crippling pain - someone is always going to complain that you ruined everything and they "had that kill."0
votes - #33Werewolves are absolutely forbidden to tell humans about their existence. They are, however, allowed to HINT that they're werewolves in a manner that's not unlike a guessing game.0
votes - #34If I'd die for a guy, it doesn't mean I'll marry him.0
votes - #35Emotional blackmail works every time.0
votes - #36The guy to fall for = the one who says "I'm bad for you"; the guy to NOT fall for = the one who is trying to protect me from the bad.0
votes - #37Getting a haircut and a tattoo is totally worth being scolded for, but attempting suicide just to hallucinate is peachy keen.0
votes - #38You can get away with everything if your dad is the town's best doctor.0
votes - #39It's okay to ignore your dad's friend's death to go pursue your sparkly love and continue ignoring the death when you get back.0
votes - #40Leprosy isn't funny if your cousin had it.0
votes - #41When holy water, garlic, or wooden stakes aren't available, use pepper spray to defend yourself against vampires!0
votes - #42If you aren't tan, you can be kicked out of the state of Arizona.0
votes - #43The mysterious, rude boy in your life is better for you than the one you made mud pies with when you were five.0
votes - #44If you made the mess, you clean it up. Even in the world of vampires.0
votes - #45Vampires really kill you because they want your clothes.0
votes - #46You know that guy who always looks sick when he's around you? He just likes you, that's all.0
votes - #47I now know the loser table when I see it. Thanks, Twilight!0
votes - #48It's totally healthy to be willing to die in the place of someone you just met a few months ago.0
votes - #49Never leave your bedroom's window open unless a hot guy waits outside the house and wants to come in.0
votes - #50Don't celebrate your 18th birthday with your boyfriend's family! His brother may hurt you and your boyfriend may break up with you because of this...0
votes - #51The only excuse you have to continue to flirt with your ex-friend with benefit that you denied many times is that you are knocked up with a demon baby that is killing you from the inside out.0
votes - #52It doesn't matter if you treated them like crap or not; your "friends" will still attend your wedding.0
votes - #53Everyone who is good to you is rewarded; everyone who is mean to you dies, gets beaten up, or suffers something else tragic.0
votes - #54The term "kiss and make up" seems to work every time....0
votes - #55Sisters-in-laws are weird....0
votes - #56Nobody in Forks has ever seen a Mercedes.0
votes - #57When your BFF/ex-friend with benefit can't make it to your wedding, just invite his little look-alike, for your own eye-candy benefit. It makes up for the loss...sort of.0
votes - #58Two completely different families doesn't spring up an ouce of drama when planning a wedding, simply because one family is...dazzling.0
votes - #59Only one person is going to assume you're pregnant by getting married at eighteen...Right....0
votes - #60Murmur, mutter, mumble....0
votes - #61A guy who has been single for a really, REALLY long time wouldn't enjoy a bachelor party...Right....0
votes - #62Secretly having boys in your bedroom at night when your dad's sleeping is okay as long as you aren't doing anything more than kissing.0
votes - #63When in doubt, angst it out.0
votes - #64The bride doesn't want a little attention...Right....0
votes - #65You're not heading to Boise, Idaho for your honeymoon, that's for sure....0
votes - #66Some people "can feel their lungs moving", yet they cannot remember how to close their mouths.0
votes - #67Extreme beauty causes stomach pains.0
votes - #68It doesn't matter if she's married or not; it's never too late to try to remind her that she should pick you because you have a beating heart.0
votes - #69When receiving a compliment, insult yourself. When receiving a sarcastic or less-than-genuine compliment, say "Thanks."0
votes - #70Stepping hard on the foot of your BFF isn't at all rude or bratty; it's endearing.0
votes - #71Telling your BFF that you're later gonna take a ride on the disco stick (tee-hee) of his mortal enemy in like a couple of hours makes things...awkward.0
votes - #72Bringing the pack along makes a great wedding. And I'm not just talking a pack of beer....0
votes - #73Nobody at a wedding is gonna notice a party guest going crazy with a bunch of wolves and others gathered around.0
votes - #74Going to a hotel for a honeymoon with a vampire is SUCH a good idea.0
votes - #75After the one time when you're both totally happy, it's all taken back to square one because all the angst is back.0
votes - #76Most likely, a TWSS joke can only be made via Emmett Cullen or Quil Ateara.0
votes - #77Vampires are always killing your buzz.0
votes - #78No broken bones = victory...according to Edward.0
votes - #79Vampires will rip your head off, and then you'll be pregnant...whatever THAT means.0
votes - #80Vampires still don't know that getting it on makes babies.0
votes - #81Vampires also watch the Food Network. You never know when you'll come across a human you don't want to eat up....0
votes - #82Imprinting can be a magical thing...or an epic facepalm.0
votes - #83It's okay to beg your boyfriend (fiance) to become a vampire for so, so long and so, so constantly...only to later tell him that you wouldn't mind being human because getting laid as a human is ah-mazing.0
votes - #84Out of all the DVDs to choose from, you pick a frilly old musical. They probably had Titanic on DVD, dude!0
votes - #85If the left side of the headboard is trashed, you might as well wreck the right side to balance it out, you know....0
votes - #86Remembering every single thing you looked up about vampires over a year-and-a-half ago really comes in handy when you're discovering you're preggo.0
votes - #87It's okay to have a boyfriend who stalks you, is older than you like... 100 years, wants to marry you when you are like.. eighteen, destroys your car so that you won't be able to visit your guy best friend, hurts you emotionally and physically, "opens" your belly with his teeth to have your baby out of you without hurting you at all ,just as little as you need to die.....0
votes - #88It's absolutely normal when your vamp- husband asks you to kill your unborn child and you don't even call him "dang, sparkly, stupid, abusive vampire!"0
votes - #89It's okay to kiss with your HOT somehow-ex-boyfriend/current best friend TWICE and never mention it in the future!0
votes - #90Your husband could be trying to "pimp you out" with your BFF and you don't even know it.0
votes - #91The reason why your husband wants you to get busy and have puppies with your BFF? He just loves you.0
votes - #92Vampires get wings from Red Bull too.0
votes - #93BFFs beat each other up...or they at least want to. (Bella wanted to kick Jacob's butt for him telling her dad about the motorcycles, she wanted to beat him up for ignoring her phone calls, she punched him in the face, then when Jacob imprinted on Re-name-me, she lunged for his throat.)0
votes - #94It doesn't matter if you're a bratty teenage girl that also happens to be an absolute airhead; people will still find you ridiculously adorable.0
votes - #95Nobody cares about the innocence of anyone's eyes. They just want to save your butt.0
votes - #96Weird gothic sitcoms seem like NOTHING compared to all the drama of the Twilight Saga. Just saying.0
votes - #97The really tall and long ladies dressed in animal furs and whatnot are absolutely terrifying.0
votes - #98Some people really suck the fun out of everything. (Bella is like the only exception to nearly EVERY mental power. *cough*MarySue*coughcough*)0
votes - #99Your big brother-in-law will be pissed if you beat him at something.0
votes - #100It's hard to deny a vampire with dimples.0
votes - #101Some parents love to eat deer and run nakedly in the wild...then later remember that they have a kid they should take care of.0
votes - #102A half-vampire baby with 2 aunts that adore her, 2 uncles that adore her, and insanely rich grandparents that adore her too WON'T be spoiled...Right. (Keep in mind that the half-vampire baby will never have any biological cousins, so she'll have all the attention all the time.)0
votes - #103Imprinting = free babysitter!0
votes - #104Guys who eat muffins are secretely werewolves!Rawr!0
votes - #105I must meet a guy, fell in love with him, break up with him, be together again, marry him,have a child with him,be transformed into a vamp by him and live with him together forever.And all these must happen within a year...0
votes - #106Never open a gift without wearing special gloves...0
votes - #107Always hear style advices by a sassy vamp!0
votes - #108Marry the one who stalks you, not the one who actually LOVES you!0
votes - #109When your guy best friend says he has "mono" and doesn't want to talk to you,it actually means that he has become a shape-shifter!0
votes - #110Never punch a werewolf in the face!It may be dangerous!0
votes - #111If you live in Arizona and not being really tan, they'll kick you out of there!!0
votes - #112When your guy best friend wants to kill himself you have to kiss him to save his live!After that you realise that you love him.But after he has been injured (while fighting for your safety) you have to tell him that you don't love him enough to choose him instead of his cold,abusive,immortal enemy.0
votes - #113While being pregnant, drink blood.It's even better than the vitamins or Mg or Ca, etc!0
votes - #114Always try the riding-motorcycles thing with your guy best friend!!You may be hurt, and he'll come and help you by taking off his shirt (showing his ripped body to you) to reduce the bleeding.Ps:the best friend MUST have a ripped body0
votes - #115When a friend is bleeding, take off your shirt to to reduce the bleeding!0
votes - #116If you live in WA you are like REALLY lucky....0
votes - #117If you want to meet a Hot,tan,buff Native American, jump off a cliff!0
votes - #118Never walk alone in the middle of the forest...you may face really strange things....(use your imagination)0
votes - #119Never walk alone in the middle of the forest...you may face really strange things....0
votes - #120If you want your baby girl to hate you, name her Renesmee!0
votes - #121While breaking up with your vamp-boyfriend in the middle of the woods, make sure that you have a GPS thing with you.(In case he leaves you there all alone, you may need it to find your way home)0
votes - #122Never see a movie called "Face Punch". I mean the sound...."Bam bam bam bam!"0
votes - #123Never go to the movies with two guys, because 1)One of them may vomit (the marshmallow one) and 2) the other one (the hot one) may become a werewolf!0
votes - #124While your hot-guy-best-friend kisses you by force Do Not punch him!You may break your wrist!0
votes - #125Never leave the house without making sure that you carry your pepper-spary!0
votes - #126If you're a raging obsessive lunatic who also happens to be a huge klutz that gets involved with vampires, go take a walk in the forest alone. Nothing is bound to happen. Right.0
votes - #127When your boyfriend dumps you, causing you to be depressed, instead of getting help, do reckless activities in order to hallucinate about him. It worked for Bella.0
votes - #128It takes a long time to realize that you're cold or that it's raining.0
votes - #129People who drive VERY expensive cars are vampires and people who drive old cars or motorcycles are werewolves!0
votes - #130The talk!0
votes - #131Renesmee is a name!0
votes - #132Werewolves are hot! (108.9 F)0
votes - #133Giving Jacob hugs! <30
votes - #134A true friendship between a boy and a girl is full of fun,care and cuteness!And most of all, LOVE!0
votes - #135An ice cube is the key to happiness!0
votes - #136Making Jacob faces! <30
votes - #137I can learn so much from a series, yet still be so confused and frustrated in the end.0
votes - #138Never trust a person in body glitter.0
votes - #139Forget everything you know about pop culture. Pale is the new tan.0
votes - #140When your hot-sexy-werewolf BFF kisses you by force.DO NOT punch him.Instead,use a baseball bat.(No guarantee that it works)0
votes - #141If your boyfriend breaks up with you, just jump off a cliff and then you get to go to Italy and see him again!0
votes - #142It doesn't matter if you're dying or not - your dad is still not going to want to visualize and that is that.0
votes - #143It's okay to hang out with vampires, as long as they don't hunt humans. But it's bad to hang out with werewolves even if they're sworn to protect humans0
votes - #144Dancing is more frightening than being killed by a vampire0
votes - #145Oh, you weren't here for half the school year and there's no history of you receiving any high school credits? You still get to graduate as long as your dad's the town doctor.0
votes - #146Charlie Swan is not the visualizing type.0
votes - #147Yes, Lionsgate can still show us everything in the movie via TV spots and clips, but that's okay, since we're all going to pile into the movie theaters anyway.0
votes - #148Taking cold medicine to help you sleep the night before you go hiking with your vampire sweetheart is considered "gratutious drug use."0
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