Alright you shits, listen well and listen good.
I cannot go a single fucking page on /v/ without seeing somebody baaaawwing over the fucking Super Mario 64 eel.
>I HATE HIM BECAUSE HE IS SCARY AND HE IS SCARY >YOU RUINED MAH CHILDHOOD BAWWW >I HATE WATER LEVELS BECAES YOU >I HAVE A PHOBIA OF WATER AND EELS NOW, PLEASE FEEL SORRY FOR ME CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIN
Well I’m fucking tired of it. You niggers wouldn’t know fear if it fucked you in the ass. Nobody even remembers me, the Deep Python. I bet half the people reading this right now just remembered running out of magic and realizing they were fucked because they didn’t know the seahorse could lead you to Pinnacle Rock a second time. Yeah, that’s right. I was all over the fucking walls while you were still figuring out how to swim as Mikau. I’d eat you within a second, and bye-bye two hearts. You kept on trying to attack my head because that’s what you’d normally do. Sorry bitch, that’s how I get you close to my mouth. Just like I got my own Deep Python close to your mom’s mouth last night. And speaking of night, you were trying to kill me for so long that it passed into night while you were at the bottom of the fucking ocean. Your little seven-year-old ass couldn’t see shit, and you were scared to fucking death because of it. And the worst part of it was, you’d have no idea how many of me you were going to have to kill before you got all the eggs.
In closing, I am the greatest video game eel to ever exist. I am deceptive, numerous, frightening, and powerful. Is your OH SO SCARY Mario 64 eel any of that? No, no it isn’t. So the next time I see someone asspained about that little red dickflap, I will repost this to show them the error of their ways. It will eventually become a common copypasta, being posted everywhere. Then you’ll all remember. Oh yes. You’ll remember.
Peace out faggots. Pic related, it’s me about to open a can of whoopass.