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Funniest Twilight quotes that fans have made up

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Quotes-for-myspace
1
Looks @ Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

2
When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

3
Forget Edward and Jacob...I'm Team Alice

4
I like being a vampire. It's like being a ninja

5
jacob:Hi,dad.

6
Does someone need a Jasper hug?

7
Yo, Edward...I'm really happy for you but Sesame Street has the best vampire of all time.

8
"You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what you are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9
Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10
"Are you afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

Feel free to keep the list going!
11
Emmett: I have to get home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** you Alice! F*** YOU!

12
This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13
Warning:Hating Twilight will cause eternal shame and depression.

14
  • screaming*Aro: Great music

15
Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16
Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties or she will kidnapp you and force you to go!

17
Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18
Do that again, and I will so give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

19
It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20
Give blood- date a Cullen.

21
Forks: where sparkly men tell you that you smell delicious.

22
It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23
If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24
You don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25
I’m sorry, did you say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26
Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and dogs are mans’ best friend!

27
My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28
Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29
I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward or Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper or Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Twilight. So should you.

31
Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32
Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33
I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34
Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would you think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 year old man to be sneaking into an 18 year old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35
I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36
Who needs a life? I have Twilight!

37
I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38
Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39
When Life Gives You Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40
If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41
Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42
Keep Calm and Love Twilight

43
Oh Hale No

44
I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45
Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46
Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47
unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

48
Team Volturi... Because they scare the crap outta people.

49
I have Imprinted on the World of Twilight

50
who needs a therapist when there is jasper

51
Bree Tanner? It doesn't look like she's got a suntan.

52
Who cares about Sam when you can have Jacob as your leader?

53
I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts or get escorted to Camp Half-Blood, so… Forks here I come

54
I'd rather have Fangs then Fleas!

55
Save gas, ride a vampire!

56
I'm Cullen my dad to take me to Forks!

57
What a fancy broom can say to a shiny Volvo?

58
Team Edward: Hotter than you since 1901

59
Volturi:Killing innocent people since 1100

60
Jane:We don't give second chances. Bella:yes you do Jane:Dang it

61
Aro:Biannca,dosen't Carlisle have a S Biannca:Too bad Aro:Felix,bite her i'm too lazy

62
If you hate twilight i'll send you to the Volturi

63
bella says"Edward you are handsome." Edward says"Bella you smell good."

64
Bella: Edward!? Why are you in my room in the middle of the night?!?! Edward: I watch you sleep every night to make sure you're safe. Bella: Oh!!!! That's sooooo romantic! <3

65
Bella: Undead or fleabag?

66
When Life Gives You Lemons THROW THEM BACK AND ASK FOR THE HOT AND SEXY JACOB BLACK!!!!!!!

67
Vampires aren't as hot and sexy as Jacob Black!!!

68
Jacob: hey edward, real men don't sparkle

69
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