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Funniest Eclipse book quotes

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1
"Go fetch a space heater? I'm not a Saint Bernard" -Jacob

2
So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married? -Bella

3
Technically I can't ever sleep with you -Edward

4
" It's a good thing you're bulletproof. We're going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie." -Bella

5
"Emmett and I were out hunting. Then Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak, who calls us all by name, knows everything about us, and wants to know which room she can move into. When we came home, all my things were in the garage."-Edward

6
"Your room had the best view." -Alice

7
“I prefer brunettes.”— Edward Cullen

8
“We’re a bit sensitive to blood around here. I’m sure you can understand that.” — Bella Swan

9
“I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.” — Jacob Black

10
"And let's face it, I am hotter than you."-Jacob Black(movie_

Feel free to keep the list going!
11
"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV." - Jacob Black

12
"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute." -Bella Swan

13
"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella." -Edward Cullen

14
"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" -Jacob Black

15
"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't THAT perfect." -Edward Cullen

16
"PLEASE! Do you MIND!" -Edward Cullen- ("What?" -Jacob Black) - "Do you think you could ATTEMPT to control your thoughts?" -Edward Cullen

17
"You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off." -Jacob Black

18
"So...at what point did you decide to play the very good guy?" -Jacob Black

19
"Pushy..obnoxious,,moronic..DOG!" -Bella

20
"But this isn't random" - Jasper Hale

21
"Well that was generous" - Charlie Swan

22
"Is it really so impossible to wear clothes, Jacob?" - Bella Swan

23
"Does my being half-naked bother you?" - Jacob Black

24
"Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and -" - Jacob Black

25
"Okay! Time for the werewolf to get out!" -Bella Swan

26
"Bye, Bells. I really hope you don't die." -Jacob Black

27
"I hate you, Jacob Black." -Bella Swan

28
"That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion." -Jacob Black

29
"I'll give you passionate. Murder-the ultimate crime of passion." -Bella Swan

30
YOU. GOT. FOOD. IN. MY. HAIR!- Rosalie Hale

31
"Doesn't he own a shirt?" -Edward

32
Emmett: "Try and walk and chew gum at the same time?" Bella: "No. I punched a werewolf in the face." Emmett: "Bad ass. Your gonna be one little tough newborn." Bella: "Tough enough to take you on"

33
“I’d wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I’d run you back to the scene of the accident, and we’d stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.”

34
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